I am continuing to learn that no matter what, no matter what, God is faithful. In all circumstances good and bad. I will say that this lesson is much harder learned when you're going through a struggle in your life as we struggled for years with our infertility but those times teach us something and I wouldn't trade it (although maybe at the time I would have). There are several reasons I wouldn't trade the pain, struggle and deep grief but the most important is that I know I would have never learned to trust the Lord like I have over the last couple of years - especially this past year! I've learned that he is here, by my side, walking next to me and wanting to carry my burdens when I'm hurting and waiting to laugh with me when I experience joy. He gives me such an amazing assurance and peace that I can only find in him - just ask Clint or anyone of you who knows me well enough knows I'd be so lost, such a crazy spastic freak without him! But it's true. I have no idea how people in our world make it through the day when their suffering if they don't have this peace. I would go nuts. In fact, during my 'lesson learning' (which, by the way isn't finished...nor do I believe I will ever be finished learning life lessons like these) I did go nuts. I can tell you though that the times I spent praying, reading God's word and singing encouraging Godly songs I felt his presence and peace all the much stronger.
The night before our first frozen embryo transfer back in September I think Clint and I both were in a tizzy and really worried we may not even be able to continue with the transfer. Leading up to that day I had had some pretty severe reactions to my progesterone injections. I mean, they're not fun anyway (who wants a 27 gauge needle poked in their 'hip' which really is your butt, twice daily and medicine injected? No one that I know!) but to have the swelling, redness and super awful pain that followed it was a nightmare! We thought if I had an infection or was having these reactions it might interfere with the embryos implanting and we may be told we should wait for the transfer. It was a scary time. We'd waited for SO long already and to be stuck in a city we didn't' know far away from our home, excited but now nervous it wasn't exactly the perfect or ideal night we'd dreamed of. That night I remember writing in my journal and reading some scripture. Up until that point I was very anxious, upset and extremely nervous...but then I did the only thing I knew I had left to do and that was to turn it all over to God and give up whatever control of the situation I thought I had. It sounds like that would be hard, and many times it is hard giving up that control - I know I had to do it over and over again on our journey but this time after we prayed together that night we said amen and I felt this amazing peace. Amazing isn't even the right word. It was a feeling of peace that we knew only God could give us. Clint even looked at me and was like "what's going on? Usually you're the one who is suppose to be so worried, not me!" ;) It was that peace that was filling me. Its hard to describe and those who have gone through other struggles in your life and turned to the Lord know exactly what I'm talking about. It is undeniable that he's there when you experience something like that. Where else would peace like that come from? Maybe you can try to relax your mind or body with acupuncture, meditation, controlled breathing or yoga - but that is different - not to knock any of those but when you have the true peace of God you don't NEED to look any further...you don't NEED those things. He's all I need, all you need.
I could go on and on. :) This blog post started out as me writing about our doctor's appointment this morning but I think maybe I needed to write about something different. Maybe just one person out there needed to hear about God's faithfulness today or how he can give peace, I don't know but it is a good reminder for myself too!
Today we had our 27 week ultrasound and appointment with our perinatologist. I'm technically 26 weeks and 6 days but our appointments are always on Thursdays.
The appointments always start with the tech doing the ultrasound and measurements and heartbeats of each baby. At the end they always calculate it in these growth charts on the monitor and it will tell you how much the babies weigh and where they are for their gestational age. I always get a little anxious thinking with each passing week we could develop complications, one baby might not be growing enough, have enough fluid, see a heart problem or thousands and thousands of other things that could potentially go wrong especially in a multiple pregnancy. So far we've been doing so well. I know there are so many people praying for us and the babies and I can honestly feel it, so thank you so much! All the babies are doing really well!
Weights:
Baby A 2 lbs. 5 oz.
Baby B 2 lbs. 5 oz.
Baby C (Clinton) 2 lbs. 4 oz.
The sonographer and our doctor were both impressed and actually looked surprised to me to see such great weights! Usually by 26-28 weeks they will see discrepancies in the weights of the babies but they are sharing the nutrients so nicely! The girls are identical and share a placenta so they are especially susceptible to having complications and growth issues but so far so good! I asked them to check baby B's heart again and she still does have that inconsistent palpation but they do not believe it is anything serious at all and that once she's born it will go away. Then we checked baby A's heart because the heartbeat seemed irregular. It was up to 167 then as low as 130's. They told me usually you can control this by not taking in too much caffeine but I haven't had any caffeine nearly my entire pregnancy and I eat healthy (well okay, besides the white cheddar pop pringles I'm downing right now - but I save the junk until after I've had the good, healthy stuff). The doctor and tech agreed then that it was probably just because she was being so active and moving around at the time they checked the heart rate. They did it again and it was 150 something so I'm not suppose to worry. ;) I trust them and I trust God has carried us this far and he will protect our little angels. They're on loan from him anyway, right?
Dr. Brookheisen said "You're a model citizen" and that he thinks I will probably be one of those moms who goes until 35 or 36 weeks. That made me feel good too. We all hope and pray that he's right! For now though I'm going to keep resting (although it hasn't been mandated to me by my doctors yet) and trying to stay off my feet. I feel best when I'm laying down. My belly is getting so monsterous that it actually sits on my thighs when I'm sitting upright and that makes my hips hurt. Funny, I know but it's true! I've moved on from HUGE to monsterous folks! lol. What's next? Don't answer that.
Thank you all again for your kind and encouraging comments and mostly for your prayers.
The night before our first frozen embryo transfer back in September I think Clint and I both were in a tizzy and really worried we may not even be able to continue with the transfer. Leading up to that day I had had some pretty severe reactions to my progesterone injections. I mean, they're not fun anyway (who wants a 27 gauge needle poked in their 'hip' which really is your butt, twice daily and medicine injected? No one that I know!) but to have the swelling, redness and super awful pain that followed it was a nightmare! We thought if I had an infection or was having these reactions it might interfere with the embryos implanting and we may be told we should wait for the transfer. It was a scary time. We'd waited for SO long already and to be stuck in a city we didn't' know far away from our home, excited but now nervous it wasn't exactly the perfect or ideal night we'd dreamed of. That night I remember writing in my journal and reading some scripture. Up until that point I was very anxious, upset and extremely nervous...but then I did the only thing I knew I had left to do and that was to turn it all over to God and give up whatever control of the situation I thought I had. It sounds like that would be hard, and many times it is hard giving up that control - I know I had to do it over and over again on our journey but this time after we prayed together that night we said amen and I felt this amazing peace. Amazing isn't even the right word. It was a feeling of peace that we knew only God could give us. Clint even looked at me and was like "what's going on? Usually you're the one who is suppose to be so worried, not me!" ;) It was that peace that was filling me. Its hard to describe and those who have gone through other struggles in your life and turned to the Lord know exactly what I'm talking about. It is undeniable that he's there when you experience something like that. Where else would peace like that come from? Maybe you can try to relax your mind or body with acupuncture, meditation, controlled breathing or yoga - but that is different - not to knock any of those but when you have the true peace of God you don't NEED to look any further...you don't NEED those things. He's all I need, all you need.
I could go on and on. :) This blog post started out as me writing about our doctor's appointment this morning but I think maybe I needed to write about something different. Maybe just one person out there needed to hear about God's faithfulness today or how he can give peace, I don't know but it is a good reminder for myself too!
Today we had our 27 week ultrasound and appointment with our perinatologist. I'm technically 26 weeks and 6 days but our appointments are always on Thursdays.
The appointments always start with the tech doing the ultrasound and measurements and heartbeats of each baby. At the end they always calculate it in these growth charts on the monitor and it will tell you how much the babies weigh and where they are for their gestational age. I always get a little anxious thinking with each passing week we could develop complications, one baby might not be growing enough, have enough fluid, see a heart problem or thousands and thousands of other things that could potentially go wrong especially in a multiple pregnancy. So far we've been doing so well. I know there are so many people praying for us and the babies and I can honestly feel it, so thank you so much! All the babies are doing really well!
Weights:
Baby A 2 lbs. 5 oz.
Baby B 2 lbs. 5 oz.
Baby C (Clinton) 2 lbs. 4 oz.
The sonographer and our doctor were both impressed and actually looked surprised to me to see such great weights! Usually by 26-28 weeks they will see discrepancies in the weights of the babies but they are sharing the nutrients so nicely! The girls are identical and share a placenta so they are especially susceptible to having complications and growth issues but so far so good! I asked them to check baby B's heart again and she still does have that inconsistent palpation but they do not believe it is anything serious at all and that once she's born it will go away. Then we checked baby A's heart because the heartbeat seemed irregular. It was up to 167 then as low as 130's. They told me usually you can control this by not taking in too much caffeine but I haven't had any caffeine nearly my entire pregnancy and I eat healthy (well okay, besides the white cheddar pop pringles I'm downing right now - but I save the junk until after I've had the good, healthy stuff). The doctor and tech agreed then that it was probably just because she was being so active and moving around at the time they checked the heart rate. They did it again and it was 150 something so I'm not suppose to worry. ;) I trust them and I trust God has carried us this far and he will protect our little angels. They're on loan from him anyway, right?
Dr. Brookheisen said "You're a model citizen" and that he thinks I will probably be one of those moms who goes until 35 or 36 weeks. That made me feel good too. We all hope and pray that he's right! For now though I'm going to keep resting (although it hasn't been mandated to me by my doctors yet) and trying to stay off my feet. I feel best when I'm laying down. My belly is getting so monsterous that it actually sits on my thighs when I'm sitting upright and that makes my hips hurt. Funny, I know but it's true! I've moved on from HUGE to monsterous folks! lol. What's next? Don't answer that.
Thank you all again for your kind and encouraging comments and mostly for your prayers.
Encouraging post! As we're about to have our FET at the NEDC in July, I needed to be reminded of this Truth. - Thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteWow! What a beautiful post! I very much needed to hear a lot of what you had to say (I was on a hormone and stress-induced freak-out earlier this week). Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear that you and the babies are doing so well. You are NOT monsterous! You are absolutely a-stinkin-dorable!
Thanks for the great reminder to always trust in God with everything because He is in control! Nice picture with the watermelon...lol. I'm so happy the babies are so close in weight, we are praying you make it to 35-36 weeks!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your pregnancy! All three are doing so great! Whatever you are doing (rest) is working--keep it up!
ReplyDeleteWe have a "NEDC daughter" from a FET in 2007 and are going back next July for our 2nd try at embryo adoption #2.
God IS faithful! Love that your belly is on your thighs! Yes, PLEASE keep resting! HUGS!
ReplyDeleteGo glad the Dr's appt was full of such good news. God truly is walking beside you and taking care of you all!
ReplyDeleteKeep on truckin' Mamma!
Thanks so much for this post! My hubby and I are also going for our FET in July and I have a tendency to worry. I constantly remind myself that God is in control of ALL the details and knows exactly what He's doing. Glad you and your babies are doing so well- I will continue to pray for you all! =0)
ReplyDeleteAmen to all of it, sister! So glad He brought you into my life so you could remind me of all these things when I need them most. Its been an honor and a privelge to walk this road with you Rachey. God is good and He IS in control. Praise Him that HIS plan is so much better than we could have ever imagined or hoped for, if only we trust in Him.
ReplyDeletetouching Post. Thank You for sharing. When we are in the thinck of our despair...when it is so important to reach for the hand of God and ask him to help carry our burden....we often forget He is there arms wide open.
ReplyDeleteOver the next while and once these babies arrive REMEBER this post and read it OFTEN!!!!