Just looking back

on some old old blog posts and photos. First at July...the babies were SO tiny and sickly looking! Cute, but scrawny little ones. It makes me sad and happy all at the same time to see how big they have become and how far we've come. They are troopers, survivers for sure! Also looked at the very bottom of the blog again. Haven't done that in awhile. Can you believe its been nearly one year, ONE YEAR, since our frozen embryo transfer where we transfered TWO little adopted babies?! I saw the "triplets first photograph" photo and my heart got all fluttery. Those little dots, smaller than an eraser head of a pencil at the time are now our children, the adorable, smiling babies we hold every day. Miracles. They are miracles. What a journey it has been. I know what its like to loose faith that you'll never become pregnant. Then to loose two embryos. Then to have two again to use and thinking even DURING the procedure that it wasn't going to work because they had to change caths and reinsert the second all over again (same as what happened the first FET and maybe why we lost the two that time-we'll never know). I just remember crying, sobbing actually during the FET and thinking "NO! NO, not again." And I thought that for weeks later...until we found out on Thanksgiving that I WAS in fact pregnant. Then our first ultrasound. The words "congratulations, you've got twins" to Clint studying the screen and saying "Um, are you sure...? Go back. Go back. What is that? Isn't that a third?" (just imagine the pretty green color he turned when it was confirmed lol). He was the first to see all three! Then being told one might not make it, baby C, Quincy man. Oh he made it alright! And he told us about it the second he came out! All the way down the hallway! haha! Oh boy. The ups and downs. The scary times when we had no one to cling to but God and the joyful times we celebrated with family and friends. What a journey. What a journey.

No words can express the overwhelming feeling of looking back over this long road we've traveled. Its another page turned in our life just as the wedding song that was played at our wedding (A Page Is Turned by Bebo Norman - great song btw). We've begun a new chapter and we are so thankful for God not only watching over us and those little embryos, now our babies, but being by our side waiting to comfort us as well.

I hope our story can one day be an encouragement and comfort to another family struggling with infertility. We may not know our future, but we know God holds it and wants the absolute best for us. Its a very lonely place to be, I just want for you to know you're NOT alone, God is with you and he WILL see you through. He saw me through some very very dark places...I praise God and am eternally grateful for Clint and my dear friend Laura (who also did EA) who stood by my side, encouraged me and cried many tears with me (Laura).

I'm not sure how to end this post. My posts are usually unplanned jibberish, whatever is on my mind at the moment and I think I've said all I can say so I will leave it at that.

Please send me a message if you need to talk about your struggle. I would be honored to be there for you in any way possible, if nothing else just to pray for you.

You're not alone, God is here and I would love to be here for you too.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. ALL the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Psalm 139:13